Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.

Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.

It’s often said that you can always tell an Aussie, but you can’t tell him much.

This is because so many of them are stupid.

Look at Aussie Gold Medal hopeful Hassene Fkiri. Fkiri was chasing Ausfailure’s first Commonwealth Games wrestling gold in 32 years, until he lost his cool and then his medal.

What a moron you might say, but don’t forget, he’s from Ausfailure. Ausfailure has mastered the art of losing, even when victory is a near certainty, they choke.

Greg Norman was a world champion loser, and we all remember the horror choke that saw a team of semi professional weekend rugby league players become world champions at Ausfailure’s national game of rugby league when their team captain dropped the ball over the tryline ensuring his team went home as losers yet again.

In this latest choke Fkiri was disqualified midway through the 96kg Greco-Roman final against India’s Anil Kumar at the Indira Gandhi Complex in Delhi overnight.

Already one down in the best of three contest, he was trailing in the second when a referee brought the match to a premature end and awarded Kumar the gold.

The Ausfailure hopeful made an obscene gesture to the judges and South Africa’s Kakoma Hugues Bella-Lufu and Canadian Eric Feunekes were later awarded the silver and bronze respectively.

At one point Fkiri looked as though he was trying to slap his local rival during the bout and also appeared to headbutt him recalling the shame that was the Aussie being booted off the Tour De France for headbutting during a passing move.

Ausfailure wrestling team manager Kuldip Bassi said Fkiri, who was too distraught to talk to the media, had lost his temper and was devastated by the outcome.

“He should have been happy with the silver and he probably didn’t want to lose,” he said.

“He was really upset and he said he lost control, he pointed the finger towards FILA people, which is the worldwide organisation.

“I asked him, ‘Did you do it?’ and he said yes he did. So that’s the end of the story, you can’t do anything more than that.

“He shouldn’t have done that, he is a very senior wrestler … whether you win or lose I think you’ve got to accept it, you’ve got to respect everybody, it is not really sportsmanship.

Ausfailure team official Leonid Zaslavsky said Fkiri’s behavior was inexcusable.

Fkiri’s brain fart allowed the host nation to make a clean sweep of the 96kg, 74kg and 60kg titles to rapturous applause and dancing from the locals hundreds of locals in the stands.

Ausfailure also lost to India in cricket following a complete capitulation last year when they were comprehensively shat upon repeatedly by former world easy beats England.

The only good news for Ausfailure’s l;long suffering sports fans is that Ausfailure lead the Silver medal tally at these games.

“Coming second is a goal we have pursued with vigor at sport for ages and it’s great to see that when it comes to being not quite good enough second best also rans we are world champions at it.” said a spokesperson for the Greg Norman Foundation.

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